It's oh so quiet...

Many people describe themselves as being 'quiet' in real life social situations but as it turns out 'quiet' is a relative term.

I describe myself as quiet in real life. However, when I tell my internet friends that I'm quiet many of them will say 'oh really, me too' thinking that they're just like me in social situations.

No you're not like me. I've never met anyone who is quiet like me. I'm so quiet it's deafening. People notice that I'm quiet within a few seconds of meeting me (apparently).

In some situations my 'quietness' even makes people feel a bit uncomfortable (I think) as the urge to talk can be quite strong - even if you'd rather not speak first. I'm quite comfortable not speaking. I'm used to my own company. I'm an artist.

I'm not good at social gatherings because I think I have a moral obligation to wait until someone has finished speaking before I talk. No doubt you probably agree. However when someone is talking to me, I listen. I'm not formulating what I'm going to say the split second this person finishes their final sentence.

Apparently others do. I get next to no time to think and respond before someone else has started speaking and I've missed my opportunity to contribute to whatever the first person was saying. Now I have to wait until the second person has finished speaking...no time to think because now the first person has started responding to what person two just said... oh dear, they're going to think I'm 'quiet'.

My brain just doesn't work like that. It isn't inspired to recall stories of past high jinx based upon whatever story is being related to me... "oh yes, how we all laughed...that reminds me of the time we..." Doesn't work like that.

My brain just absorbs information then makes important connections an hour or so later. It stores stuff that may later be useful in creating... something.

So, 'quiet' is a relative term. You may think you're quiet compared to your friends but compared to me. I bet you seem... well... normal. No more quiet than anyone else meeting new people for the first time. Once they get to know you, you probably become more out going. Once people get to know me... nup - still quiet.

Oh well. I'm used to being quiet. Oh so quiet.

5 comments:

  1. HI!!!From Buenos Aires FREE GUIDE
    http://bairestravel.blogspot.com

    can I link you as my page friend?
    thank you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for stopping by Traveler. I guess you can link to me if you choose.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is ALL true!! I'm his Mum, and even I find him quiet! Sometimes it's like pulling teeth! Maybe he gets it from me, as I was a quiet, timid child, the sort that would be likely to get picked on for no reason - other than I was quiet and timid - but I had a temper to watch for, which took people by surprise, or they'd find it amusing!

    I still class myself as a quiet person, but as I have grown older, especially since I have been on my own for the last 14yrs, I have come out of my shell, as I had to go out to find friends by joining social groups. Well....I didn't have to, but I did if I wanted to make friends and have people to go out with occasionally. Also, with not driving, it enabled me to go to places I couldn't get to on public transport - a day's bus trip for instance.

    I spend alot of hours on my own, 3,4, or even 5 or more days on my own in the house, which I feel quite comfortable with, as I enjoy my own company, and can enjoy TV programs or DVDs etc on my own, which some people can't do. I can also enjoy going to a shopping centre on my own to browse or shop for clothes etc and have lunch out, or see a movie at the cinema by myself - something some people couldn't envisage doing in a pink fit!

    However, when I am out in company, I find that I am much more outgoing and talkative than I used to be in my younger days, when I would tend to fade into the wallpaper or seem invisible by the way some people hog all the conversation and not even try to include you into it if you are 'quiet.' They probably assume you are a boring person and can't be bothered to find out, like a minority might.

    So, I have developed a bit, not like TET, so there must still be some of me in there with him somewhere! Oh...his Dad was also a 'quiet' person on the surface, but also had a temper, but he made friends easily, especially with older or elderly people, unlike me in my school and teen days, I'd just stick to one or two, sometimes quiet like me(I avoided 'loud' people!), but sometimes opposite ie: outgoing, and friendly.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Goodness me...mum, if your comment was any longer you'd need to start your own blog called 'Replies to TET's blog' ;)

    Nothing like your own company...being able to fart and scratch without saying 'excuse me'... oh...was that a little too much information :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is ALL TRUE!!! Well, you see, I must have been having a 'brain fart' as was the topic on one of your blogs recently! Well....I WAS on my own at the time!

    My own blog called, 'Replies to TET's blogs' Hmmmm....! Now...where do I begin...another brain fart perhaps! LOL!

    ReplyDelete

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