Why Satanism is Dumb.

I was recently informed that Satanism is dumb because:
"The first rule of Satanism is to 'do what you want' therefore, if you follow any of the rules after that, that is someone else telling you what to do and not you 'doing what you want'. Hence Satanism is dumb."
I don't know the rules of Satanism and I'm paraphrasing this revelation from someone who promptly declared themselves to be very smart. So smart, in fact, they thought they might inform the Satanist 'Pope' at their first opportunity.

My article was prompted because this person was very pleased with their conclusion and, at the time, I didn't want to lock horns with such a theological master. (Notice how I'm using big words like 'theological' and 'revelation' to make it sound like I actually know something about this subject - I had to look both words up just to check I was using them in the correct context by the way).

Back to the rules of Satanism (which I suspect are much like the Pirate Code and more like guidelines than actual rules). Perhaps you've spotted the flaws in this argument against Satanism?

My immediate thought was, what if you choose to follow the rest of the rules? It's your choice right? You're doing what you want to do which is follow the rest of the rules.

Taking that thought to an extreme conclusion, if 'doing what you want' means choosing to follow all the rules of Christianity, does that make you a Satanist or a Christian?

Then, I thought a bit more about the original argument. If you follow the first rule of Satanism then, technically, that is someone else telling you to do what you want therefore you're not 'doing what you want'. Hmmm... almost as weird a logic as the argument its self.

At this point of my writing, I thought I'd do some research of my own. It turns out that the first rule of Satanism (at least the one referenced above) isn't actually a rule but rather it is a major Satanic social ethic that reads like this:
"Do whatever you want as long as you harm no undeserving person"

Source: Satanic Ethics and teachings on morality in Satanism by Vexen Crabtree.
The same source article above references Eleven Satanic Laws, none of which state 'Do whatever you want'. The article also states that Satanists are not bound to these laws and that there is no taboo amongst Satanists if the laws are broken. Hence, one might conclude that these 'laws' are more like 'guidelines'.

Like most people I thought Satanism is akin to 'devil worship' but, based upon my very limited reading thus far I suspect 'devil worship' is a Christian label applied to Satanists. Reading the eleven laws, they actually seem quite reasonable statements, with one or two perhaps leaning towards extreme violence if taken too literally.

In any event, I don't wish to be thought of as promoting Satanism. This article was simply to vent some thoughts I had about someone else's conclusion on the subject.

I don't profess to have any detailed understanding of theology in general and wouldn't like to prove my ignorance by stating any further poorly drawn and unresearched conclusions. Best leave that to other people.


  1. that is the most outrageous yet very logical at the same time

  2. Personally, I just think it's an excuse for people to get away with deviant behavior. There was the story of the thrice-divorced man whose exes wanted him to drop off the children at church and he refused because he thought it was 'insulting his religion'. Um, no, they want you to do your duty as a dad, not join them at church. Oh, and the incredibly bad performance art they do to counter pro-life rallies...yeah, that's not making me think these people are on a clear path here.


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