Plant More Trees
An observant friend asked why didn't I plant the trees outside as if this was the obvious thing to do. I asked him why would I do that? Trees have no trouble growing outside all by themselves. Just look out the window and you'll see plenty of trees.
Besides, planting the trees indoors meant I could cover the floors in dirt and completely eliminate the need to vacuum. Win for me and a win for the trees I thought.
I think the real problem was I didn't consult a landscaper. I'm sure they would have advised against planting trees in the space between my couch and the TV. At the time I just never thought about anything other than plant more trees.
In hindsight I don't think I'm actually very good at this environmental stuff.