The Extraordinary Tourist
It's oh so quiet...
Monday, May 07, 2007
Many people describe themselves as being 'quiet' in real life social situations but as it turns out 'quiet' is a relative term.
I describe myself as quiet in real life. However, when I tell my internet friends that I'm quiet many of them will say 'oh really, me too' thinking that they're just like me in social situations.
No you're not like me. I've never met anyone who is quiet like me. I'm so quiet it's deafening. People notice that I'm quiet within a few seconds of meeting me (apparently).
In some situations my 'quietness' even makes people feel a bit uncomfortable (I think) as the urge to talk can be quite strong - even if you'd rather not speak first. I'm quite comfortable not speaking. I'm used to my own company. I'm an artist.
I'm not good at social gatherings because I think I have a moral obligation to wait until someone has finished speaking before I talk. No doubt you probably agree. However when someone is talking to me, I listen. I'm not formulating what I'm going to say the split second this person finishes their final sentence.
Apparently others do. I get next to no time to think and respond before someone else has started speaking and I've missed my opportunity to contribute to whatever the first person was saying. Now I have to wait until the second person has finished speaking...no time to think because now the first person has started responding to what person two just said... oh dear, they're going to think I'm 'quiet'.
My brain just doesn't work like that. It isn't inspired to recall stories of past high jinx based upon whatever story is being related to me... "oh yes, how we all laughed...that reminds me of the time we..." Doesn't work like that.
My brain just absorbs information then makes important connections an hour or so later. It stores stuff that may later be useful in creating... something.
So, 'quiet' is a relative term. You may think you're quiet compared to your friends but compared to me. I bet you seem... well... normal. No more quiet than anyone else meeting new people for the first time. Once they get to know you, you probably become more out going. Once people get to know me... nup - still quiet.
Oh well. I'm used to being quiet. Oh so quiet.Labels: conversation, friends, life, quiet, social
The things you hear in public.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
I've written about conversations I've overheard in public places before with my article, Relationship on Train. These are the kind of conversations that your ears can't help but tune into and that the speaker is clearly making no attempt to ensure no one is listening.
A few days ago my partner and I went out for an evening meal at a not so local, but very popular restaurant. Two ladies at the next table, probably around our age (mid thirties) were discussing their relationships.
The girl doing most of the talking was describing the most intimate of details of some relationship break down she'd had with her current partner. I didn't get all of the conversation because my brain was tuning in and out depending on the combination of words. You know how it is. You're not really interested but then a combination of juicy words drift over... "he and I were in the shower..."
Oh my goodness, should you really be having this conversation in such a public place? I noticed one or two other tables were tuning in for this too.
"You know when you just really want to get away from someone but what you really need most is for them to hug you..."
Well no, not really but in some weird way it has a fuzzy logic to it.
I don't really know what this discussion was about. One of them had done something they shouldn't have and the other partner had found out but they worked through it. Apparently he is a great father, so I can breathe easy about that.
If you're out in public, you really shouldn't talk about your private affairs where everyone can't help but overhear. You never know who's blog your conversation will feature in.Labels: chat, conversation, overheard, public, relationship
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