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Showing posts from 2006

Where Wool Comes From, a Blonde Joke

Video Description: A little blonde (and brunette) humor. A commercial for the L.A. County Fair.--o--o--o--I came across this video on Google video and thought it was just so convincingly acted and a clever idea. These ladies almost make you believe that there are people in the world that are really this clueless. (I mean I could accept one person being this dumb but what are the odds of four people in the same room, with one being a parent?).I wonder if People in LA watch this thinking "as if we're that stupid...wool comes from the store...like everything else."

Blank Canvas II

'Blank Canvas II', was featured on my web site last month. It continues on from an earlier video I created, Blank Canvas, which is a humorous look at a specific type of minimalist art that is little more than the title describes.

Blank Canvas II continues on as a commentary with an actual example of an artwork, Courier II by Robert Ryman. Ryman is an American Artist who has made an entire career out of... well... painting surfaces white. Is his work art? My opinion on the specific example of his work I comment upon is ‘no’.

Speed Bandits - only in Denmark.

Thanks to Mobuzz TV I came across this news story which I had to blog for ... um ... well no good reason except that this kind of innovative, out of left field, traffic policy thinking surely needs to catch on ... preferably in my home town. Topless speed controllers.If you've watched the video then I shouldn't need to explain any further however Mobuzz Host, Karina, pointed out the glaringly obvious... "Where are the buff male speed controllers?"She went on to speculate that the lack of males may mean that 1. The policy makers are sexist pigs, or 2. Research showed that it was only male drivers that were speeding (oh right, because all the female drivers need to drive slower in order to check their hair and lippy in the mirror!).I feel that this kind of policy is actually rewarding speeders for their bad driving. No one would have thought of this if people didn't speed, right? I didn't see any driver in the clip getting upset about slowing down, before speed…

Your Outlook on Life.

My partner and I went to a local pub for a nice lunch time meal. As we were finalising our order an elderly lady, just preparing to leave with her husband, suddenly became overcome with some ailment causing her temperature to soar. She appeared to be in pain. The thought that she may even be having a heart attack crossed my mind.

Her husband was quick to act, flagging down restaurant staff for some assistance with cold cloths and things. Several people on nearby tables offered their assistance but he didn't seem overly concerned saying this was something that had happened before and that she would 'come right again' in a little while.

The staff were great in offering assistance, keeping the ladies arms and neck cool with their cloths, trying to determine exactly what was wrong and whether the lady required an ambulance (she did seem to be in a lot of pain from what I observed). She initially refused an ambulance as she was of the same opinion as her partner about 'coming…

Relationship on a Train

"I signed up to those sites just so I wouldn't get anymore emails asking me to join."

My partner and I were riding a train into the city to see a movie and were among many people to overhear a mobile phone conversation from a young man, behind us, to his girlfriend, 'Claire'. Claire was very suspicious.

I don't know the man's name so I'll choose one... 'Gareth'.

Gareth initially denied accusations of having joined some web sites but then he changed his story to this article's opening line - "I signed up to those sites just so I wouldn't get anymore emails asking me to join." Which is shady justification at best, as Claire queried why he didn't just block the emails? I'm sure everyone listening in thought that too. Both my partner and I did.

Gareth also denied that he knew any of the people asking him to join the sites and that he hadn't contacted anyone. All the suspect emails had been sent to him. He encouraged Clair…

"The Fear of God"

Let me preface this article by unequivocally stating that if you are a religious person, devoted to any faith, I'm more than happy for you. I'm not anti religion nor am I anti god. I just walk a different path in my ideas about god and don't feel any need to find a religion that closely matches my beliefs. With that said, I'd like to relate to you the following experience that happened to me today...

I was just in the last throws of making myself some toasted cheese and ham for lunch. The kettle was on the boil for a cuppa and I thought, I'll just dash outside to check the mail while I waited. Upon opening the front door you could literally hear the thud of my heart, not so much sinking to the floor but making a mad dash to be elsewhere because the view from my eyes was that of two well dressed young men, carrying nicely bound black books, coming up our garden path. Mormons.

Mormons are very nice and very polite people. They speak well and work really hard to spread …

The Last Meeting of the Gawler Town Council (2003-2006).

NB: apologies for the length of this entry however sumarising three and a half years with a short article just wouldn't seem right. I hope you'll persevere and learn from my experience.

Last Meeting: Out going Councillors, David Arandle (TET) and Ian Skewes.
Photo by Deputy Mayor, Brian Thom taken at the end of the final meeting of Council.

I remember the last meeting of the previous Gawler Town Council. I was in the Public Gallery having already been elected to the incoming council unopposed. This last meeting was a fairly moving experience as several councillors were given the opportunity to say a few final, outgoing words and at least one councillor was moving on after a personal loss.

In comparison, my last meeting of council was, well...lacking whatever it is that makes such a meeting special. The Mayor wasn't present (being on leave). There was no one in the public gallery (with the exception of one councillor's partner). Even the usual local press reporter arrived …

Understanding Postmodernist Art.

I've heard a lot about Postmodernist Art but never really knew what it was since, at art school, you don't learn a lot about art after the so called period known as 'Modern Art'. In an attempt to remedy the situation I set about doing some research armed only with the most vaguest knowledge of my most favorite Post Modern artwork, which is of a modified road sign located in the United Kingdom that reads 'No God for the next 500m'. (I don't know what it means either. Some how it sounds plausible but is it?). I'm afraid I don't know the artist responsible for this gem of street sign 'tom foolery'.It seems like this is the point of Post Modern Art. To take something familiar, change it into something that seems the same but isn't and then defy any kind of explanation.In my research I came across Post Modernist essay generators and Post Modernist cartoon dialogue generators (that created captions for the same set of comic panels taken from s…

Music Video: Hallelujah (cover by maijapop)

If there is such a thing as the perfect, melancholy ballad then Leonard Cohen's classic 'Hallelujah' must come close.

I first heard this song as part of the sound track to the movie 'Basquiat' in which it is performed by John Cale. Many artists have covered it, most notable versions are by Jeff Buckley and Rufus Wainwright (who's versions are inspired by Cale's arrangement).

The girl in this video is from YouTube, she's 16, lives in Finland and goes by the nickname maijapop. I think she does a great version of the song. I hope you do to.

Minimalism in Art

Minimalism in Art is all about breaking down any subject into its most basic elements, leaving just enough information to express whatever idea the artist is trying to convey.The career path of artists working in this style often begins from a place where the artist is producing impressively complex creations. Then, as they 'mature' in their development their work becomes progressively simpler and...well...minimal.To para phrase British actor/comedian Kenneth Williams, who once said about specialists, "It's more and more people getting better and better at less and less. Pretty soon someone is going to be absolutely superb at nothing!". Minimalism is a little like that...or seems like it.More and more artists painting less and less. Pretty soon an artist will come along who is superb at painting nothing! Perhaps they already have if my previous blog entry Blank Canvas is to be believed.Minimalism is a legitimate art form. I have no problem with it as a concept. I…

Blank Canvas

In my time as a professional artist I have seen more than a few artworks hanging in respected galleries or entered into art competitions that are little more than either blank canvases or canvases painted entirely one colour.

Although I don't know if it is still there, the State Gallery of South Australia had an all yellow canvas, while the State Gallery of Western Australia once exhibited three canvases painted three different shades of car 'duco' paint. Whilst I'm not sure of the concept behind the yellow canvas the other three came with some spiel about "exploring the unique surface created by that type of paint".

I also have seen a virtually white canvas win first prize in a local art competition with the judges describing the work as "bold and confronting". No argument from me there. Many people criticised it and couldn't understand how it could even be called 'art'.

The point of this article is not to say that these canvases are not a…

Men's Deodorant

I don't wear deodorant because I can't stand the smell of the stuff. Before you think, well I must stink...I shower daily and I don't do a heck of a lot to raise a sweat most days (an hour, daily work out is the most I do). Back to the point I want to make.

I swear male deodorant must be made by men hating "you're never getting lucky" women or geeky "I can't get laid so why should anyone else" lab coated wearing science guys. Is it just me or does all men's deodorant smell like airfreshner made from rotting fruit, stale eggs and corroded battery acid?

Seriously I can't believe guys that spray toxic, gaseous clouds of the stuff all over themselves before a night on tiles expecting to pick up. Emanating that foul odour the only thing they're likely to pick up is lung cancer. How do they even breathe in their own presence?

The only logic I can see is that women out on the town are wearing so much stifling perfume that their nose cavity has…

Loose Change SE - Documentary on 9/11 and events of that day.

Thoughts on 9/11 five years on - September 2006I made the above video for a 9/11 project on YouTube, mentioning the two other planes that also crashed on September 11, 2001. Thanks to Loose Change SE I now have my doubts whether these planes actually crashed.If you haven't seen the 9/11 documentary Loose Change SE about the unanswered questions of September 11, 2001 then you owe it to yourself to watch it. 9/11 changed the world forever and there is a growing movement of people who question if it really was an 'act of terrorism' or something much worse?The documentary does have a view for where the truth lies but encourages you to follow up the questions for yourself. It is not a 'conspiracy' film. It merely presents information that is available if you are prepared to look around for it.Worth your time if only so you can say "What a load of rubbish!" I bet you can't by the time you've seen it. There's so much info that you can make links betw…

Interview with an Artist's Model

Woody is a professional, nude artist's model who works exclusively in my studio. With finely, chiselled features and a natural talent for not speaking and remaining motionless I thought it was time to ask the tough questions...

TET: So how did you get the name 'Woody'?
Woody: In a spontaneous lack of creativity, you gave me that name knowing full well that the opportunities for inuendo would make this interview so much easier to write.

TET: Hmmm...well it seemed like a good idea at the time but now I'm not so sure. How is life as a eunuch?
Woody: Would you get your head out from between my legs and ask some real questions!

TET: Okay...What's it like being an artist's model?
Woody: It's actually quite demanding. I have my limbs twisted every which way and then I have to hold a pose sometimes for hours, even days.

TET: Would you compare it to a kind of performance?
Woody: I guess, in a way. You do have to 'feel' the pose in order to bring life to it.
TET: Have…

Broadband, YouTube, a New Laptop and Film Making.

Prior to getting broadband internet access I, like many of you, only had dialup internet and for the most part was happy with it. I never experienced the speed of broadband until the day our house switched to it. I could never have imagined just how much more the internet had to offer and the possibilities that would arise from that simple change.

I thought that because I didn't download a lot of video that I didn't really need broadband. I now realise that I didn't download a lot of video because I didn't have broadband.

Discovering YouTube has been like having someone finally stop choking you so you can really enjoy a breath of fresh air. Just browsing the video clips is better than watching real free to air television.

Many of the clips are made by average, everyday people who's best chance of ever getting on TV would be as part of a studio audience. Some people star in their own films while others just upload snippets of their lives. Maybe it was something stupi…

I can paint cats...

This new video will no doubt be a bit controversial so let me say from the outset, I do like good abstract expressionist art. In fact I am in awe of artists who can create work in this genre that holds my attention.

Also, if you're not familiar with my art, you need to know that I have painted more pictures of stylised cats than any other animal.

What frustrates me to no end is abstract expressionist artists whocompare my art to that of a skilled crafts person and imply that I am not a real artist. What they mean is that I have learnt how to draw and paint much like a craft person learns how to turn wood or knit a jumper. My work lacks true expression and does not reveal my inner being in the way abstract expressionist, non-representational artwork does.

In doing so they imply that their art is a higher art than mine. Total rubbish.

Abstract Expressionism is like every other art form. It can be learned. The more you practice the better you get. The more you learn to tap into your emot…

Ebooks, battery life, and the humble stack of paper.

The ebook, or electronic book, has not quite caught on as a cool, mass consumer product largely because of the medium used to deliver it. Namely the computer. Even the smallest of laptop computers don't quite have the convenience of that humble stack of paper, glued or stitched down one side, more commonly referred to as a regular 'book'.

Regular books come in all shapes and sizes, the most convenient of which is known as the 'paperback'. Paperbacks are just the right size to read without straining the eyes and are just small enough to take up hardly any room in a bag, briefcase or maybe even a large coat pocket. Not with standing their use as 'brain food' their durability knows no bounds. They are still readable even after being used to prop up a wobbly table or having been thrown at an annoying colleagues head (not that this happens often but it happens).

Laptops have the annoying habit of being bulky and not very hard wearing at all. Even if your laptop co…

Mental Poison

I am a passive control freak. Which means that I organize my life just the way I like it and I get really annoyed when someone else comes along with their way of how things should be done. Yet I won't do anything about it. Instead I'll let these little annoyances fester in my head, building up with successive annoyances until my thoughts are circling around the culprits imagining everything I'd like to do to them for bringing chaos to my world. Mental poison.

A recent example of the kind of annoyance I'm talking about was highlighted in an argument I watched on an episode of 'Australian Big Brother 6' between contestants Camilla and Darren. Camilla had cut herself some pieces of bread and Darren was incensed that she'd cut slices from the new loaf instead of cutting them from an already started, existing loaf.

Now, obviously, I fall on Darren's side of the argument. Who in their right mind starts a new loaf of bread when a previous loaf is still to be fin…

My first Vlog entry is so interesting!

In the spirit of my past blog entires such as 'My first blog entry is more interesting than yours' and 'The infamous second blog entry' I felt it only fitting that my first video blog entry should be equally lame.

That way things can almost certainly get better from here on in. Enjoy (or not) - you'll be back I'm sure!

Just press the 'play' button to view the video. Not sure what it's like on dialup but works good on broadband.

Forget TV - Baby you're an internet star!

There is a new kind of celebrity emerging and that is the Internet Star. Forget mass media TV now anyone can become a celebrity via the internet. I'm not talking about those adult web cam performers either or even errr...what's their names at www.nakednews.com I'm talking about real media stars that deliver interesting content with all the production values of real TV shows and nothing gimmicky just to grab you're attention.

My personal favourite internet star is Karina Stenquist at www.mobuzztv.com. Karina and her team deliver a daily three minute show with humour and interesting content all whilst keeping their clothes on. The script writing on this show is tight and Karina's delivery is as good as any TV presenter - if not better. She has great timing for punchlines too. Amazing that she has no previous experience in the entertainment industry.

Not with standing the great job the Mobuzz TV team do creating such a vehicle for yourself is well within reach. The web …

Studio Time.

Studio Time is the time I spend in my studio actually creating an artwork...or so it has come to be defined. It seems to suggest that the actual execution is more important than the collection of ideas or time to just absorb and reflect. Perhaps I should explain.

In order to get more art done myself and some fellow artists have come up with the concept of recording 'studio time'. Essentially clocking on when you start to paint and clocking off when you're done for the day. You then set yourself a weekly quota of hours and try to reach that in studio time. The final piece of explanation is that you partner with another artist and compete to reach not just your quota but more if possible with the winner being the artist who records the most studio time over a given period.

It's a great idea in theory and works really well when you're on a role with lots of ideas pouring out of you one after the other. However when you're in a lull it becomes a lot of pressure just …

Kids today are smarter than their parents?

How often have you heard it said that kids today are smarter than their parents? I’ve heard it quite frequently in the media – even Dr Phil has said it. I say speak for your self. It’s not true and don’t let the media fool you.

Today’s kids may have access to more information that may give them more choices but in my experience, they only take in what they want to hear and still make stupid, uninformed decisions. Just like we used to at their age.

Like any cross section of people there will be exceptions. There are kids that are genuinely smarter, more mature and responsible for their age. However the vast majority know everything they need to know by the time they turn fourteen. They’re ‘adult’ enough to be responsible for all their own decision making so parents should just let them do what they please…right? Just like we thought at fourteen.

Don’t be fooled. Just because your son knows how to download MP3’s onto an ipod, or your daughter can chat to five friends at the same time on he…

Superman Verses the Super Computer.

Watching ‘Superman III’ on the television the other night, two things stood out during the course of the film.

One was the superb effort of its star, Christopher Reeve, to maintain Superman’s credibility despite an appallingly constructed script that played more for laughs than action adventure. (It’s not hard to see why the franchise died soon after this).

The other was how dated the computer technology in the film is.

Superman III was released in 1982, at a time when computers were still gaining momentum. People knew about them but really didn’t know how they worked. Computer networks in the workplace took up whole rooms. Computers in the home were limited mostly to gaming consoles, and perhaps your classic early consumer computers like the VIC 20.

The Star Villain of Superman III is a Super Computer that can do ‘anything you tell it to do’. Having just been built, this machine first appears in the final half hour. It is huge. Several stories high, completely filling an entire subterr…

Does it make bread?

I can’t pretend to know what six weeks of hand washing is like but I can imagine it must be pretty bad since my partner, finally able to buy a new washing machine, proceeded to wash everything in the house – even stuff that had already been washed.

The new washing machine is an odd looking thing. It’s not your typical top-loading machine with the controls on a raised panel at the back. It’s more ‘chest’ shaped, kind of rounded on top, with the controls on a panel at the front. It looks rather a lot like an oversized bread making machine and, with the number of lights I’m sure there must be one that tells you when the bread is done.

Not even our video recorder has that many lights. It has a myriad of settings. One setting lets you set the machine to start washing even before you get out of bed in the morning…no cup of tea...but at least your clothes are done.

The machine also makes a number of beeping noises. I don’t know what any of them mean but the one I heard sounded like it was proba…

Terror is for Stupid People.

This is an idea for a song that began forming in my head one morning. I found myself desperately trying to finish taking a shower so I could write something down before I forgot everything. You know how it is...you think of one line, then another, then another and before you know it you've forgotten how it started.

Anyway this is as far as I got before my day took over. I may finish it sometime in the future.

Terror is for Stupid People.

Terror is for Stupid People,
The weak, the undeserved.
You only read what you want to see,
You miss out many words.

Too many people dying.
Only the dead are really free.
The rest of us, left behind,
Thank God we've got TV.

This modern world is crying.
Look what you have done.
Fear and a 'War on Terror'.
This is what we've become.

- TET, May 30th, 2006

The Da'Vinci Code - TET's Movie Review

It seems that to review this movie you have to say if you've read the book. I have and I'm a fan of the book (fact, fiction or somewhere in between).

I went into the movie with low expectations as a movie reviewer that I usually have a lot of time for had described this movie as 'a missed opportunity' and 'a bucket of sh..'. She hadn't read the book and thought the first half hour was too wordy and boring. She did concede that she could see how this film would make a great book though.

With that in mind I went along to see the film. If you don't know what the film is about, haven't seen it, or at least read the book then this isn't the review for you. I'm assuming you at least have some idea of characters etc.

First up, much comment has been made about Tom Hanks hair (having been straightened). You'd think with all the talk he must've dyed it orange and put a pink bow in it. To me it looked appropriate for the character (Robert Langdon)…

I'll Pencil You in...

Many of you in this day and age will relate to the 'both partner's are very busy' type of relationship where you literally have to compare diaries and make time for each other. The common phrase is "I'll pencil you in for..." etc. My partner and I are almost like that however just the other Saturday it finally got to the state of being absurd.

You'll have to bare with me for the next few paragraphs as they sound like one big diary entry but stick with it and you'll see that knowing all this information was necessary.

Our day started with my partner getting up early to spend the entire day with her two teenage kids at their various sporting commitments, Basket Ball and Netball. It was state championships for the basket ball so my partner would be at some stadium, at the other side of the city, all day and most of the evening too. She kissed a barely awake me goodbye and headed out.

Readers of this blog will know that I work from home. I got up not long a…

Get a job...

One of my biggest frustrations in life is people telling me I need to get a job. What they mean is something that has regular hours and a guarenteed pay cheque at the end of the week. Usually this suggestion comes from people that earn their living this way.

I'm the first to admit that working for yourself is a hard way to make a living - especially in the beginning. However I think if you believe in yourself and back yourself 100% the payoff in the long run will be better than any regular job.

With all the skills I've acquired over the years people are often surprised that I haven't been able to find a regular job (especially those job search co-ordinator people who circle like a vulture when they think I'm an easy prospect for job placement).

It is precisely because of all these skills that I find regular work...well...depressing. I'm not just saying that either. I've had regular jobs and followed the gradual spiral down into monotony and boredom. It's just …

"You are the Generation that bought more shoes..."

"You are the generation that bought more shoes, you get what you deserve." This quote is a song lyric that I heard on the radio (my apologies to the writer and artist that it belongs too because I don't know who either of you are). It's a great line and I can only assume it refers to the apparent lack of interest today's eighteen to twenty somethings appear to have in more serious and deeper issues.

Not that I'm trying to hold myself up as someone who campaigns strongly for the greater good of human kind or that I spend significant amounts of time raising awareness of important issues. I'm certainly not a poster boy for changing the attitudes of people with too many shoes but lyrics like that do make you think.

It's at this point that I really don't know where to go with this article. Should I focus on the material nature of modern society and its obsession with having more stuff? Or should I mention a few important issues, like Human Rights Abuses,…

The Black Dog with Fire eyes...

Winston Churchill described his depression as 'The Black Dog' a constant but unwelcome companion.

My Black Dog has fire eyes these days. Suppressed rage. It's hard when you're smart enough to know that letting this black dog loose on the world would be a destructive thing.

This dog you can only exercise on your own. Shouting at inanimate objects when no one's around because they frustrate you beyond all proportion. Spitting the most foul of obscenities at them through clenched teeth.

It doesn't make you feel better. If anything you feel worse. Wishing you could really unload on the real object of your anger but knowing that you wouldn't achieve anything if you did.

Managing a black dog is a difficult thing. Managing an angry black dog is harder still. The Black Dog with fire eyes.

Moving Closer to God...

The last three weeks of March my family and I went throught the process of moving house. Our new home is much closer to the kids school - which is a private, religous school. Hence the title of this entry, we've moved closer to God.

That's about as religous as this article is going to get because it's really about moving house and not a lot to do with God.

Anyone who has ever rented a property will understand how moving house becomes an inconvenient but necessary process that is the equivelent of picking up everything you own and moving it three feet to the left. Invariably you never move very far from your last home because staying within the same community is paramount. It's bad enough changing houses without having to change all your friends and local hangouts too.

In order to help fund our move we held a garage sale over two weekends. We managed to raise a quarter of the money we needed. What we didn't sell we donated to a local charity. Probably got rid of at lea…

Did I wake you?

When answering the phone the most common thing that anybody says to me (after 'Hello') is 'Oh, did I wake you?'

Now I know there are some people who do sleep at 4 o'clock in the afternoon but not me. Sometimes I get 'Did I wake you?' from down the end of a phone line earlier in the day but the afternoon ones are the most disconcerting.

I know I don't have the chirpiest (is that even a word?) of voices but 'Did I wake you?' at 4pm is too much.

No you didn't wake me, I'm just tired of your interuption. Get to the point of your call.

The Shortest Story...an epic in the making.

'The Shortest Story: 20 days' is a painting I've been 'working' on for over a year. It's based upon the Harry Chapin song of the same name which tells the story of a child born into extreme poverty.It is a very sad story and probably my least favourite Harry Chapin song.

However, my partner likes the song and thought I should create an artwork based upon it. So, towards the end of January 2005 I began work on, what was intended to be a Valentine's Day gift (Feb 14, 2005).

Two Valentine's Days and over a year later, this is where it is at - just over half finished. It's a difficult artwork to get excited about even though I'm happy with how it looks so far. Obviously I haven't actually been working on it every day. For the most part it's sat in my studio, neglected for the larger part of 2005. Early February 2006 I managed to progress it to this stage after about a days work but haven't touched it since.

Maybe the song is just too depres…

Symbol of the People

Recent reports in the Australian media of university students creating flag burning kits to sell as a way of protesting government policy have sparked the debate about whether flag burning should be a criminal offense and highlighted people's misguided understanding of what the Australian Flag represents.

First and foremost our flag is not a symbol of a specific government. It represents us. No matter how far we travel an Aussie flag helps connect us to other Aussies abroad and it reminds us of home. It is a symbol of the people.

Some say that our flag represents freedom. Quite often people who say this will attempt to deny you of your freedom to burn the flag.

Australia prides its self on being a tolerant society. It is our ability to tolerate criticism without resorting to violent retaliation that helps makes us strong. It's one of the things that hold us together as a community. I don't want to be represented by violent individuals that can't handle criticism. i can&#…

The Danger of Meeting Monotany Part III

The meeting of the School Governing Council threatened to continue into the early hours of the following morning.

Fortunately proceedings were interrupted by the Tactical Response Group, whom had been deployed with much urgency, after an anonymous tip off that several upstanding community members were being held against their will within the grounds of the local high school.

Whilst a meeting of the Governing Council was not what the Captain of the TRG was expecting to find, never-the-less, he understood the seriousness of the situation.

Immediately the chairperson was taken into custody along with several committee members who would later be charged with 'stealing time'. A number of others were cautioned about 'taking too long to get to the point'.

The rest of the committee were released from the ordeal, thankful that their fate of 'being bored to death' had been narrowly averted.

More than 'Nothing'...

To understand my previous article ''Nothing' on a grand scale' you need to understand that I'm not trying to convince you my exhibition, 'Unstarted', is 'Art'. It's not a case of 'The Emperor's New Clothes'. I'm not trying to con you into thinking there is 'Art' in a space where there is nothing on display to look at.

In fact my exhibition is entirely about there being no art on display and that I did not even think about creating any art at all. It is an honest exhibition that is not trying to deceive you. It is what says it is.

No doubt some Art Critic could give it more credibility by describing it as 'Conceptual minimalism to the extreme' but the average Joe or Jane public would word it better with the simple statement 'That's not art!'

Whilst I'm not against Conceptual art as such, my criticism is aimed at artists who appear to rely on Galleries, Art Curators and Professional Art Critics to give …

'Nothing' on a Grand Scale...

As an artist I would like to leave the world with the legacy of my greatest exhibition of conceptual artwork (or lack of it as this article will reveal). My vision is on such a grand scale that only one of the world's great art museums could house it.

In essence I would like to empty all the art from the walls and rooms of one of the great art museums. I would then like to hang my exhibition entitled 'Unstarted'.

Every room in every gallery will be filled with artworks that I have spent no time at all creating. Not so much as a single empty canvas, just a museum filled with nothing. Unstarted.

Naturally each individual artwork not appearing in the exhibition would be 'Untitled'.

I imagine the souvenier catalogue of artworks to be filled with blank pages. Unprinted.

What a bold statement. Shifting aside all that important art for nothing (literally). Minimalism to the extreme. An artist who has got so good at creating less and less he's finally worked out how to make…

Laugh and think...this is Australia...

The title of this post is a line from a song. I can't remember who sings it but the full verse goes something like this:

Out on the patio we sit,
And the humidity we breathe,
We watch the lightening,
Out on the cane fields,
And laugh and think,
This is Australia.


Not that I've ever seen lightening out on the cane fields but the sentiment resonates with me with regards to the weather.

In this country, in Summer, it gets hot - think hot to the point where it doesn't matter if you wander round buck naked you still won't feel cool. What bugs me about this is not the heat but the people who have lived here all their lives yet, still complain about it.

There's not a lot you can do about the weather except endure it. Stay indoors, crank up your air conditioner and get on with your life. Don't complain to me that your hot because, if you haven't noticed, I'm experiencing the same heat you are and I'm not complaining.

This is the country you live in...laugh it off an…