Skip to main content

Interview with an Artist's Model

Woody is a professional, nude artist's model who works exclusively in my studio. With finely, chiselled features and a natural talent for not speaking and remaining motionless I thought it was time to ask the tough questions...

TET: So how did you get the name 'Woody'?
Woody: In a spontaneous lack of creativity, you gave me that name knowing full well that the opportunities for inuendo would make this interview so much easier to write.

TET: Hmmm...well it seemed like a good idea at the time but now I'm not so sure. How is life as a eunuch?
Woody: Would you get your head out from between my legs and ask some real questions!

TET: Okay...What's it like being an artist's model?
Woody: It's actually quite demanding. I have my limbs twisted every which way and then I have to hold a pose sometimes for hours, even days.

TET: Would you compare it to a kind of performance?
Woody: I guess, in a way. You do have to 'feel' the pose in order to bring life to it.
TET: Have you ever given a wooden performance?
Woody: ...!
TET: Sorry - couldn't resist.

TET: Obviously most of your work is nude work, are you comfortable exposing your body?
Woody: I'm made of wood with ambiguous sexuallity what is there to cover up? Actually I'd feel a little weird if you started putting clothes on me...next thing we'd be having tea parties with your collection of stuffed toys and GI Joes...
TET: *coughing* um...well I don't think we'd be having tea parties...

TET: What do you do when you're not modelling?
Woody: Mostly I just sit around doing not much of anything.
TET: Deadwood?
Woody: Twit!

TET: Talk about wood turning!

....okay, so obviously this is a one joke idea dragged out into some really corny humour but at least I had fun creating the photos and I got to tell my joke. Normal, high quality blog writing will resume as soon as possible....do not adjust your connection!

Comments

  1. Good photos! I was thinking it was the larger size at first until I realised!

    Not bad 'wood' jokes. Ask him if he has met WOODY Allen...or Edward WOODward...or WOODY WOOD Pecker! (LOL!!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Perhaps he's friends with Woody and Buzz? :-) Very creative.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Comments not directly related to the post will be deleted. This includes spammy generic comments with links to websites not related to the post.

Popular posts from this blog

Bukirk Glamping - Camping in Style, Clare Valley, South Australia

Glamping is for those who want to experience the outdoor lifestyle of camping without foregoing the luxuries of basic motel accommodation.

Bukirk (pronounced 'Buh -kirk') Glamping, located on a rural property, in the Clare Valley, just outside of Clare, South Australia, is by far one of the best accommodation experiences my partner and I have enjoyed to date. Although Bukirk's Facebook page says you could bring a family (I guess additional bedding can be arranged?), everything is more clearly targeted at couples, looking for a romantic getaway where the accommodation is a memorable part of the experience, and not just somewhere to stay.

Virtual Reality Addiction Meets Online Shopping and Death!

I'm certainly not the first person to predict the idea of immersive virtual worlds. Movies like Tron (1982) and The Lawnmower Man (1992) are two of the earliest popular culture references to the concept I can think of, off the top of my head. Then of course there is The Matrix (1999) where the VR world idea really hit the mainstream big time.

However, back in early 2005, the practice of online shopping, with real money, for digital products in virtual worlds like Second Life (which was more cutting edge back then) began to meld in my mind with the idea of corporations controlling that experience through marketing and advertising.

The Awkward Amy Schumer Interview That Wasn't Her Fault

Last week comedian Amy Schumer participated in a very awkward interview with Mamamia, Columnist/Journalist/Senior Editor (sorry I'm not sure which job description is most appropriate) Monique Bowley. The interview went so badly that Monique simply had to just own it and write about just how badly it went, and podcast about it as well. Even better the whole interview was captured on video which you can watch below as a precursor to my thoughts on the aftermath.

Movie Review: Avengers: Infinity War (2018) *Spoiler Free*

Ten years in the making and Marvel finally releases part one of the Avengers versus Thanos, A.K.A. Avengers: Infinity War.

After seeing all 18 films in the MCU prior to this, and liking most of them, I was pretty confident this movie would not disappoint.

Other than a few minor issues - that are all my personal taste and in no way reflect on the quality of the film - it really delivers. Thanos is indeed the big, bad villain of the MCU that we've been antcipating.

Kids today are smarter than their parents?

How often have you heard it said that kids today are smarter than their parents? I’ve heard it quite frequently in the media – even Dr Phil has said it. I say speak for your self. It’s not true and don’t let the media fool you.

Today’s kids may have access to more information that may give them more choices but in my experience, they only take in what they want to hear and still make stupid, uninformed decisions. Just like we used to at their age.

Like any cross section of people there will be exceptions. There are kids that are genuinely smarter, more mature and responsible for their age. However the vast majority know everything they need to know by the time they turn fourteen. They’re ‘adult’ enough to be responsible for all their own decision making so parents should just let them do what they please…right? Just like we thought at fourteen.

Don’t be fooled. Just because your son knows how to download MP3’s onto an ipod, or your daughter can chat to five friends at the same time on he…